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Crime Syndicate

The Secret Society of Super-Heroes

by HarveyKent

Chapter 1: A Gathering of Heroes

"Honey, I'm home," Alexander Luthor said wearily as his boots touched the tiled floor of his Fortress of Science. It had been a long fight, but he had succeeded in saving the oil tanker from Power Ring's clutches.

"Hey, there," Alex's wife greeted him with a smile. Luthor returned the smile when he saw her, standing in the middle of his laboratory, her belly swollen with their second child. Lois Lane Luthor -- she made it all worthwhile. It was for her that he continued the fight.

"Long day?" she asked as Alex took off his helmet.

"I'll say," Luthor sighed. "I had to put out six forest fires Power Ring started, and they turned out to be diversions to keep me busy while he stole an oil tanker. I got it away from him, though."

"You've certainly been busy lately," Lois said. "I hardly get to see you anymore."

"I know, I know," Luthor said bitterly as he kissed her on the forehead.

"I've been thinking," Lois said. "On those other Earths you've told me about, there are as many heroes as there are villains. But here, it's just you fighting the good fight."

"I've thought about that, too," Luthor said, moving to his computer. He had built the mainframe himself, and it rivaled anything currently in use at NORAD. "I've fed the computer some facts told me by the Supermen of those other Earths and cross-referenced them with certain facts native to our Earth."

"You mean you've found our world's version of their heroes?" Lois asked expectantly.

"Not quite," Luthor said. "The Crime Syndicate is our world's version of their heroes. And on those Earths, Luthor is a deadly criminal. But taking that into account, I think I may have found some people who can help me."

Alex Luthor watched the green data flickering across the black computer screen. Perhaps these individuals could help him. Perhaps.

Even though it was the end of summer, the movie studio was decorated for Christmas. The studio was shooting a Christmas movie, a big-budget, live-action film based on an old animated Christmas TV special, The Year Without A Santa Claus. Despite the film's title, the real star of the film -- and the anticipated audience draw -- was the comic actor playing the dual roles of Snow Miser and Heat Miser. It was between takes, and the star reclined in his trailer smoking a large cigar and looking at framed posters of his earlier film hits, such as King Encino, Animal Bodyguard, and The False Face.

In a sudden, shimmering burst of light, Alex Luthor teleported into his trailer.

"Tim Barry?" Luthor asked. The actor leaped out of his chair in an exaggerated move, his rubbery face contorting into several mock expressions of surprise. "Wow -- you autograph hounds are sure persistent!" he exclaimed. "Hey, nice suit! I like the L motif. Are they shooting the Laverne & Shirley movie on this lot?"

"My name is Alexander Luthor," the hero began. "I have come to offer you an opportunity to avenge yourself on Owlman."

"Avenge myself? Exsqueeze me, L-Sid, but why would I want to do that?" Barry asked, rolling his eyes.

"You are Tim Barry, are you not?" Luthor asked. "Once a normal man, a worker at Allied Chemical Works in Gotham City? Until Owlman tried to rob the place one evening. Everyone ran for their lives. In the panic, you stumbled and fell off a catwalk into a chemical catch basin. By the time you were deposited on a riverbank, the chemicals had turned your skin chalk white and your hair emerald green... and unhinged your mind."

"Yeah, and the gravy train hasn't stopped since!" Barry declared. "I should thank Owlman for opening my eyes! Do you know what I was like before the accident? Bor-ring! I never saw the humor in life, the absolute absurdity present in every single moment of our humdrum lives. But the chemicals awakened me to the quiet humor in a school shooting, the knee-slapping guffaws to be found in an earthquake. And I've become richer than Midas by showing other people these yuks. So what do I have to avenge myself for? A higher tax bracket?"

Luthor thought for a moment. "Point taken. But think of the fun you'd have showing that gloomy gus, Owlman, the absurdity in life. He thinks he can go anywhere, do anything, commit any crime he likes. Wouldn't putting a crimp in his plans be good for a laugh?"

Barry stroked his long, white chin in thought. "I gotta admit, Louie, you've got a point, there. Yeah, that would be hilarious! Here's Owlman, about to rob the Seventy-Second National Bank, on top of the world, nothing can stop him. And BOOM! There I am with a pie in his face! That would be beautiful!"

"So you'll help me, then? Join me in my fight against the Crime Syndicate?"

"You bet, Louie, ol' pal! I shall be a bright and shining cymbal clanging in the night. No more shall I be Tim Barry, comedic genius. I shall be--" Barry hopped up on his makeup table and struck a dramatic pose, fists on hips. "--Paleface Wackypants!" Barry looked to Luthor for a reaction, but the heroic scientist merely cocked an eyebrow. "Or," Barry began, somewhat deflated, "do you think the Clown would be a better name?"

"It'll do," Luthor said.

Alex Luthor was working late in his laboratory, trying to perfect a new device that he hoped would neutralize Power Ring's weapon. He was interrupted by a shimmering golden light. He stared at this nimbus expectantly and watched a tall man materialize within it -- a man in a yellow-and-black uniform with bright magenta skin. The man was grim-faced.

"Alexander Luthor," the man said simply. "I have received your message. I admit curiosity. How did you learn of my existence?"

"I only suspected your existence, Nostromo," Luthor said. "I beamed that message into space in hopes you would be there to receive it. I am glad my hypothesis was correct."

"Do not call me that," the tall man said without malice. "That was the name I used when I was a member of the Scavengers of Qward. I have put that shame behind me."

Luthor raised an eyebrow. "The Scavengers of Qward? I know nothing of them."

"How can you know of me but not of the Scavengers? A band of intergalactic criminals, space pirates in the employ of the Weaponers of Qward, armed with yellow energy-producing rings of the Weaponers' design. In my brash youth I joined their number, but the atrocities they committed soon disgusted me. I turned my back on them, but no one quits the Scavengers. They tried to kill me. Had I not been able to hold onto my own yellow ring, they would have succeeded."

"I see. And you have since dedicated your life to righting the wrongs committed by the Scavengers?" Luthor asked.

"For one who claims to only have suspected my existence, you know much about me," the once and former Nostromo said. "Now, it is time for you to answer my question. Why have you tried to contact me -- I who now go by the name Yellow Flame?"

"My world has so far escaped the ravages of your Scavengers," Luthor began. "But we have a criminal here who calls himself Power Ring and has a ring very similar to yours and those of the Scavengers of Qward. I do not believe he has any connection to these Weaponers of Qward, but his power is great nevertheless. And there are others with power as great as his -- his teammates in an evil organization calling itself the Crime Syndicate. They loot my world like pirates on a peaceful freighter. Until now, I have been the only defense against them."

"And you want my help in routing these criminals," Yellow Lantern said.

"I do," Luthor replied. "There are five of these powerful villains, and I am only one."

"Now we are two," Yellow Flame said simply. "I will join your fight, Luthor. While you spoke, I used my own ring to test the honesty of your words. You speak the truth. Very well. I, too, shall defend your world from this Crime Syndicate."

Luthor smiled and put out his hand. Yellow Flame looked at it in confusion. "On my world, we shake hands as a gesture of agreement and of friendship," Luthor explained.

Yellow Flame grasped Luthor's hand in his and wrung it firmly. He smiled. "An interesting custom," he said. "It feels... right."

"Welcome to Earth, Yellow Flame," Luthor said.

For decades, the Fox Corporation had been run by the family patriarchs. For the past five years, however, there had been no patriarch. The last of them had died without producing a son. He would be turning over in his grave if he knew what his daughter was doing with the company. His daughter nearly turned over herself when Alex Luthor materialized inside her office.

"Prosperina Fox?" he asked as her surprise settled down.

"Who are you?" she demanded. "How did you get in here?"

"I am Alexander Luthor," the heroic scientist said. "Perhaps you've seen my picture in the newspapers."

"Oh, right," Fox said, calming down. "The scientist who fights the Crime Syndicate. I owe you a debt of thanks, Mr. Luthor. Power Ring was threatening to dump the oil from that tanker on the Alaskan coast if the ransom wasn't paid."

"Yes, the Fox Corporation has become quite enviro-friendly since you assumed control, has it not?" Luthor asked.

Prosperina's pretty face scowled in its frame of golden hair. "Do you know what my father and grandfather did to this planet? How they made their money? They didn't care who got hurt! Acres of rain forest destroyed, animals hunted down for their pelts, oceans polluted with chemical filth! I put a stop to that, believe me."

"You've done all right by the company, divesting them from those kind of interests," Luthor said. "And your chain of vegetarian restaurants and line of animal-free designer clothing have become very popular with the twenty-something crowd, I understand."

"I practice everything I preach," Proserpina Fox declared. "I haven't tasted meat in ten years, and everything I'm wearing is cruelty-free." The young tycoon lifted a shapely leg to demonstrate. "Even these shoes are faux leather. But I have a feeling you didn't come here to discuss that."

"Indeed, no. I've come to offer you a chance to strike back at a group of people who've raped the planet even more than your predecessors did."

Fox raised an eyebrow. "The Crime Syndicate?"

"Indeed. I could certainly use some help in fighting them. It's a big job for one man."

"I'm flattered, Mr. Luthor, but what could I possibly do? I'm a businesswoman, not a -- what did the Daily Planet call you? A superhero?"

"You're more than just a desk jockey, I know," Luthor said. "I know you tried out for -- and made -- the Olympic decathlon team when you were sixteen. You used a fake name to prevent your father from finding out. Atalanta Jones -- quite imaginative, really."

The young tycoon pouted. "My father did find out, however, and kept me from competing."

"I know you've kept in shape, too. And I know you've studied all the animals you protect, learned their habits, their ways of protecting what's theirs from those who would take it." Luthor paused. "I could supply you with weaponry of my own design to mimic those animal defense mechanisms. Armed with those and your own skills and desire to protect the innocent, you could be a formidable foe of the Crime Syndicate."

Prosperina's eyes narrowed as she thought about the idea. "Can I get back to you on that, Mr. Luthor?" she asked finally.

Luthor smiled. "Of course. Here's my card." He handed the businesswoman a small plastic card with blinking lights on it. "When you want to contact me, hold your left thumb over the big blue light there for about ten seconds."

"I'll be in touch. Thank you for your offer."

Luthor smiled at her and faded away in a shimmer of light. For long minutes, Prosperina Fox turned the card over and over in her fingers, and stared at nothing at all, thinking.

"The Jaguar? No. The Cheetah? No. Wait... the Lynx! Yeah!"

The town of Sapphire City sparkled like a brilliant jewel on the Maryland coast. One section of this city boasted houses built over a hundred years ago in grand Victorian style. It was in the drawing-room of one of these houses that Alex Luthor sat drinking tea with a man in black, talking. The man smiled wryly at Luthor's words.

"You intrigue me, Mr. Luthor, you really do," the man in black said. "I can't imagine how you learned of my -- shall we say -- talents. How did you find me? I have taken great care to keep that secret these last hundred and fifty years."

"You would probably find the answer very strange, Mr. Knox," Luthor said. "Tell me, have you ever heard the theory of parallel universes?"

"The idea that there are other worlds like our own, but with histories somewhat different?" Knox asked. "Actually, yes. I discussed that theory with a charming young student at New York University sometime in the 'Twenties. Let me see, his name was... Isaac something..."

"Well, to make a long story short, Mr. Knox, the theory is true. There are other worlds, other Earths, in other dimensions. Other Luthors, other Ultramen, although they sometimes go by different names and sometimes take... different paths."

Knox's dark eyes glittered with delight. "And other men like myself? I'm sure their true name is no more Wilfred Knox than mine is. I'm sure they've used many different names over the years as I have. And you knew about me from learning about them? This is simply too wonderful, Mr. Luthor."

"It was on one world in particular where I found a gentleman like yourself," Luthor continued. "Like yourself, he gained special talents relating to darkness and shadows. Like yourself, he has lived a life of hedonism since then, sometimes saint, sometimes rogue. Your paths are almost identical, except in one respect. On his world, this man -- who calls himself the Shade -- spends a lot of time dueling with a certain scarlet speedster."

"I did that once, too," Knox admitted. "It was four years ago. The oafish Johnny Quick came to my Sapphire to steal a giant diamond on display at Knight University here. I stopped him, but he never knew it was me. I worked from behind the scenes, creating shadow-demons to frighten him away." Knox paused to take a sip of tea. "The Shade, you say? How deliciously melodramatic."

"I have been fighting the Crime Syndicate," Luthor went on. "It's a hard fight, one man against five super-powered champions. I have lately decided that I need help. I have found others, men and women willing to share my fight. I would like you to join our number."

"A clandestine band of privateers warring against the forces of evil?" Knox asked. "A league of extraordinary gentlemen, if you will? A secret society of super-heroes?"

"Something like that," Luthor said. "Are you interested?"

"My dear Alexander -- may I call you that? You couldn't keep me away."

"You won't regret it, Mr. Knox," Luthor said, rising from his chair. "Thank you for the tea. We will be meeting at my Metropolis laboratory next Friday night at eleven, to discuss strategies."

"Dr. Shadow will be there," Knox said, smiling wryly.

Chapter 2: First Contact

"You sure this is the place?" Ultraman asked as he hovered in air, looking down with his ultra-vision.

"This is it, all right," Owlman verified. He kneeled on the glowing green platform created by Power Ring and peered through a stylish set of binoculars modeled on an owl motif. The Crime Syndicate hovered over an army base in Maryland. "The government is storing their new laser cannon there for testing tomorrow. President Ferraro says it will give America the edge in the Cold War with Switzerland."

"Ha!" Power Ring laughed shortly. "It won't be the United States of America or the Union of Swiss Socialist Republics that comes out on top, will it?"

"Not once that laser cannon has been added to the Crime Syndicate's arsenal," Superwoman agreed. "Come on -- let's go!"

"On my word, Syndicate," Ultraman said, not letting his authority be usurped. "Okay... now!"

As one, the five villains swooped to earth like vultures. Ultraman prepared to batter through the steel doors of the cargo shed, paving the way for the others. He was confused to see the doors opening.

"What the--?" Ultraman watched his old enemy, Alexander Luthor, fly out of the shed. And someone else was with him, a red-skinned man in a yellow and black costume.

"Surprise, Ultraman!" Luthor shouted and launched a bolt of golden energy from his gauntlet. The beam struck Ultraman in the chest and seared him with pain. It was concentrated solar energy, and it drove the kryptonite radiation from his cells. A single burst like that could not depower him totally, but many such would. Ultraman flew high into the sky to escape the bolts and give himself time to think.

"I recognize Luthor -- but who's that?" Power Ring asked, gesturing at the red-skinned man.

"Name me the Yellow Flame," the hero said, a brilliant beam blazing forth from his own ring. "And name me justice!" Power Ring barely had time to erect a green shield before the golden beam struck. When the bolt struck his shield, hairline cracks formed all over it. He stared in slack-jawed surprise. He had never seen anything affect his ring creations like that.

"Luthor's found himself another partner," Owlman snarled. "Quick! Go in and get that laser cannon while the heroes are busy!"

"Right," Johnny Quick said before speeding off. He braked to a halt inches from the shed when a looming dark figure reared up from the shadows within. It looked like a demon, fifteen feet tall with gaping mouth and clutching claws. It also appeared to be made of shadows. Quick had seen such a thing before, and it terrified him.

"Yah!" Johnny screamed and turned to run the other way. A man in a black-and-gray costume stepped from the shadows inside, smiling.

"That cowardly speedster," Superwoman spat with contempt. "Wait here, Owlman -- I shall retrieve the cannon." The proud Amazon strode toward the hangar. She stopped in wonderment when a lithe figure came somersaulting out of the building to come to a stop ten feet before her. It was a woman in an animal skin costume.

"Where do you think you're going, Amazon?" the woman asked.

"Is there no end to you fools?" Superwoman asked, hurling her lasso. The Lynx easily avoided the toss, leaping in the air. She did a back-flip in midair and came down hard with her feet planted in Superwoman's stomach. The evil Amazon went down hard but recovered quickly and tried to grab the Lynx's ankle. Her costume was sleek like animal fur, however, and that coupled with her own agility and flexibility made her very hard to hold onto. She twisted free of Superwoman's grasp and came around again, claws popping out of her gloves with a fierce click.

"Sure hope this doesn't tickle," Lynx mocked her foe as she made a swipe with her claws. The special alloy designed by Luthor ripped four lines through Superwoman's costume and raised four red welts along her ribcage.

"Must I do everything myself?" Owlman asked the air as he raced into the cargo shed. No one came out to challenge him. He saw the laser cannon standing unguarded and made his way toward it.

"Surprise!" came a high, cheerful voice from above. Instinctively, Owlman looked up, and a cream pie was smashed into his face. As he wiped the cream from his eyes, Owlman saw a white-faced man in a jester's costume dancing around him.

"My high school math teacher once said pi r2," the jester said. "But as you can see, pie are round!"

Owlman felt himself growing dizzy. The room was spinning under his feet. The pie -- it must have been drugged. Owlman concentrated, trying to shake off its effects.

"Power Ring!" Ultraman shouted as he struggled to free himself from an energy net cast by Luthor. "Get us out of here -- now!"

Power Ring, struggling to keep his ring-shield up under Yellow Flame's barrage, nodded. In five green flashes of light, the Crime Syndicate vanished.

"Not a bad first time out," Dr. Shadow said confidently.

"Indeed. Our foes have been thwarted," Yellow Lantern said.

"I'll say," Lynx purred, grinning wickedly at the tall Korugarian. "You were magnificent, big guy!"

"You were right, L-hombre," the Clown said as Luthor landed to join his comrades. "That was fun!"

"Yes, the element of surprise was on our side today," Luthor said grimly, looking to the sky. "But you can bet there'll be a next time."

In the Eyrie of Evil, their secret headquarters in a cave outside Happy Harbor, Rhode Island, the Crime Syndicate licked their wounds. Owlman injected himself with a stimulant, trying to counteract the anesthetic in the pie cream. Superwoman applied ointment to the scratches left by the Lynx's alloy claws. Johnny Quick sat huddled in a corner with two bright floor lamps shining on him. Ultraman paced the floor angrily.

"Who were those jerks, anyway?" Ultraman snarled. "We're supposed to be the only ones with superpowers! How dare they?"

"Take it easy, U-man. You're going to burst something," Owlman said. "Go take a hit of K. It'll calm you down."

"I don't want to be calmed down!" Ultraman growled. "I want to be angry -- it'll help me think."

"What's to think?" Power Ring said. "The game has changed, that's all. Had to happen someday."

"No -- no, I don't accept that," Ultraman said thoughtfully. "So Luthor's found himself some help, has he? He thinks it's even odds now, five to five? Well, if he can find new players for the game -- so can we!"

Ultraman stormed off to consult the Eyrie of Evil's computers. Owlman merely sighed and tied off his arm for another injection.

Chapter 3: New Blood

In a shimmer of green light, the Crime Syndicate materialized inside their headquarters, the Eyrie of Evil.

"We came close that time," Power Ring grumbled. "I could almost taste those emeralds!"

Owlman looked at his shredded cape. "The Lynx did a number on my cloak. It's beyond repair -- I'll have to replace it."

Superwoman burst out in a fit of giggles. "What could possibly be funny?" Owlman demanded.

"I'm sorry," Superwoman said through her laughter. "I guess I'm -- hee-hee -- still feeling the effects of the Clown's gas!"

"Quiet, all of you!" Ultraman snapped. "Remember, the point of this exercise was not to grab the emeralds."

"Although it would have been nice," Johnny Quick commented.

"Agreed," Ultraman said. "But we did manage to achieve our main goal -- didn't we, Owlman?"

"Definitely," Owlman said. "Let me go tune in the scanner and get a fix on them."

The Secret Society of Super-Heroes were heading triumphantly back to their headquarters in Metropolis. Alex Luthor flew alongside Yellow Flame, who transported the other three in a power-ring bubble.

"It's a shame the Crime Syndicate got away again," the Lynx reflected. "We've got to nail them before Power Ring can teleport them away!"

"True, but we did save those lovely emeralds from falling into the villains' clutches," Dr. Shadow pointed out. "That has to count for something."

"Hey, cat-woman, nice brooch," the Clown said, ogling the Lynx's back. "Shouldn't you be wearing it on the other side, though?"

"What are you talking about?" Lynx demanded. She craned her neck, trying to look at her own back.

"I believe our mirthful friend is referring to this," Dr. Shadow said, plucking something off the Lynx's back. He showed it to her -- a small metallic pin in the shape of an owl's head.

Lynx's eyes grew wide. "Luthor! I think we've been bugged!"

"What?" Alex Luthor turned in midair. "Flame, let me inside the bubble, please." Yellow Flame, the Korugarian member of the Secret Society, opened the bubble to let Luthor in. Lynx showed her leader the small device.

"Owlman must have slapped it on me during our fight," Lynx concluded.

"Hmm... Yes, the sensors in my battlesuit confirm it does contain complex micro-circuitry," Luthor said. "A tracking device. The Crime Syndicate must be trying to find our headquarters!"

"I shall vaporize the thing," Yellow Flame offered. "Mind your hand, Alex."

"No, wait," Luthor said. "This could be the chance we've waited for. They think they can follow us to our headquarters with this. Why don't we use it to lure them into a trap?"

The rest of the Secret Society of Super-Heroes grinned with delight.

"Are you sure that thing is working?" Ultraman demanded.

"I'm telling you for the tenth time, it's working perfectly," Owlman snarled. He looked down at a handheld device the size of a large calculator. The device's case was molded in the shape of an owl's head; the LCD screen was the owl's eyes. "We're almost on them."

Superwoman looked down, peering through the power-ring bubble. "A ghost town in the middle of the Nevada desert? Doesn't seem likely."

"Likely or not, that's where it is," Owlman said, as they banked down. "Inside that old saloon, to be exact."

"It's certainly the last place anyone would look," Power Ring said. They touched down on the dusty street outside the saloon. They walked in. The place was dark and full of dust and cobwebs. It did not look like anyone had been there in decades.

"So where's their headquarters?" Johnny Quick asked. "Do we pull the beer tap to activate a secret elevator or something?"

"Look!" Superwoman shouted, pointing. Something rested on the bar. Ultraman raced over for a closer look. It was Owlman's transmitter pinned to a piece of paper. On the paper, the words HA HA were written in large crayon.

"Everybody out!" Ultraman shouted. The Crime Syndicate raced out of the saloon, only to be brought up short against a shimmering blue field of energy.

"Last roundup, pardners," the Clown mocked as the Secret Society strolled out of the general store across the street from the saloon.

"I wouldn't bother trying to teleport out of that bubble," Luthor warned. "It's a special energy field of my own devising. It disrupts any energy that tries to pass through it. I'm not saying you can't discorporate and go through it -- I'm just not guaranteeing you'll be able to pull your atoms together again."

"We found your little transmitter," Lynx sneered at Owlman. "And you walked right into our trap."

"On the contrary," Ultraman laughed. "This is a trap, all right -- but you're the ones who are in it!"

Just then, in a shimmer of green light, six more costumed figures appeared on the dusty street just a hundred yards down from the Secret Society of Super-Heroes. The heroes whirled, on their guard, and looked at the six newcomers. One wore a golden costume and a shiny helmet of brilliant blue. Another wore a dark costume and a mask with no eye holes. A third carried a bow and wore a quiver full of arrows on his back. A fourth writhed like a snake as he stood there, his limbs extending and retracting, his neck elongating and snapping back. A fifth was a man with chalk-white skin and huge cabled muscles, who stood nearly seven feet tall, and a sixth -- barely perceptible -- was a six-inch-tall man in a black and red costume standing on the white giant's shoulder.

"We knew you'd find the transmitter -- we planned it that way," Ultraman declared. "Meet the newest members of the Crime Syndicate: Dr. Chaos, Sundown, Deadeye, and Rubberneck. And you've already been introduced to the Martian Murderer and Microbe. We've told the new members all about you, and they're just itching to show you what they can do."

Five of the six newcomers slowly advanced on the Secret Society, while Microbe disappeared from view. The heroes tensed, preparing themselves for battle.

Not a word was spoken; none were needed. The heroes and villains chose their opponents and squared off in battle.

Luthor took to the skies above the ghost town, followed closely by the one called Dr. Chaos. Chaos opened the battle with a bolt of purple energy launched from his azure glove. Luthor barely dodged this.

"Fascinating energy-blast," Luthor commented. "My battlesuit sensors don't recognize it as any part of the electromagnetic spectrum."

"Your filthy scientific devices would not acknowledge my power," Dr. Chaos said in a hollow voice. "For mine is the magical might of the Lords of Chaos." Chaos punctuated this remark with twin beams of sickly green light from his eyes. Luthor didn't manage to evade these entirely -- one grazed his leg, and he felt as though his entire body had been plunged into a vat of liquid nitrogen. He shivered in midair, mentally turning up the thermal conditioners in his battlesuit.

Yellow Flame ringed up a golden fist to enclose the mightily muscled one called the Martian Murderer. "You surprise me," the Korugarian said. "Are you truly from the planet the Earth-people call Mars?"

"I am," the Murderer said, turning immaterial and walking through Yellow Flame's fist. "I was brought to this world by Luthor, who sought to use to fight the Lawless Legion for him. Doing so, he also broke me out of a Martian prison. But don't call me ungrateful -- I will ensure his death is quick and painless." Faster than he could ring up a defense, Yellow Flame was rushed by the Murderer. Only his ring's protective field saved him from being pulped by the mighty albino fists.

Dr. Shadow summoned a large field of darkness to enclose the one called Sundown. The villain only laughed at him.

"Did you not notice my mask?" Sundown asked. "I do not see as you do. My mind is my eye, and your blackness cannot blind it. But I have such power over you!"

Dr. Shadow felt a tingling behind his eyes. Suddenly, everything went dark. The villain was somehow interfering with his own brain, blocking his visual receptors. For a hundred and fifty years, Dr. Shadow had made others blind, but never had it been done to him. Fear clutched his heart like a hand of ice.

"Whoa -- you must have been the tallest one in your class," the Clown said, watching the new Crime Syndicate member stretch toward him. The villain's legs remained a hundred yards away, but his upper body was lunging at the Clown like a snake. "Sorry, I didn't quite catch your name. Rubberduck, wasn't it?"

"Rubberneck," the villain corrected as his oversized hands made a grab for the Clown.

"Sorry -- I only hold hands on the first date," the Clown said politely, pressing his palm into the villain's. Rubberneck leaped back as he got a shock from the high-voltage joy buzzer concealed in the Clown's glove. The Clown's laugh was short-lived, though. He skipped away from the oversized hand right onto the villain's other hand, which he had flattened out and laid on the ground like a carpet. Rubberneck quickly whipped it out from under the Clown, and the hero tumbled head over heels.

"Stand still and get shot, willya?" Deadeye grumbled. He had fired four exploding arrows at the Lynx. She had leaped and somersaulted out of the way of all of them.

"In your dreams, William Tell," Lynx said as she landed on her feet. "God, why are the cute ones always so dumb?"

"Purr all you want, kitty, but sooner or later one of my arrows'll catch ya!" Deadeye declared, launching another arrow. Lynx somersaulted out of this one's way as well but failed to noticed the arrow Deadeye fired at the street below her. She came down feet first in a puddle of super-strong adhesive.

"Now for the kill," Deadeye grinned, notching another arrow to his bowstring.

In midair, Dr. Chaos had formed a pyramid of glowing blue light. Luthor was inside this, doubled up and lying on the floor of the pyramid.

"Man of science, your might was no match for that of Dr. Chaos," the magician boasted. "Now prepare for oblivion!"

But Luthor was not doubled up in pain or in fear. He was hiding his movements from Chaos. He had long known of the existence of magic -- he considered it merely a science he didn't understand. He figured if he adjusted and refined the controls of the energy collection systems in his battlesuit long enough, they could latch onto the particular frequency of Chaos' magic energy.

And he was right. In a brilliant burst of blue light, the pyramid winked out.

"What -- how did--?" Chaos stammered. He'd thought Luthor had made the pyramid vanish. Rather, its energies had been absorbed into his battlesuit.

"I think I have something of yours, Chaos," Luthor said smugly. "Here, you can have it back." Thrusting his right hand forward, Luthor released the magical energy in a single bolt. This struck Chaos full in the chest. Without uttering a sound, the evil wizard plummeted to the ground.

"Strike all you want," the Martian Murderer snarled as Yellow Lantern pummeled him with golden energy fists. "When you tire of it, let me know and I will end all your suffering."

Yellow Lantern believed it. The mighty giant was shrugging off all his attacks. In the back of his mind was the knowledge to defeat this foe. When he was in the Scavengers of Qward, one of his fellow Scavengers had told him about this race of beings from Mars. Of course, he didn't refer to them as Martians -- that was a Terran term for them, which made it all the harder for Yellow Flame to remember what Tomar-Re had told him their weakness was.

"Had enough, little man?" the Murderer asked.

Ah, of course -- that was it! A thin golden beam stabbed forth from Yellow Flame's ring, and the ground at the Murderer's feet burst into flame in a ring around him.

"No!" the Murderer howled.

"Not used to the blindness, are you?" Sundown asked as he advanced toward Dr. Shadow. The hero was obviously shaken by his new handicap -- he moved haltingly, unsurely. "I was unused to mine, too, when I was grazed by a cop's bullet fired in a shootout with crooks. I was an innocent bystander, and the city gave me a huge check for my blindness. I used the money to fund the research that developed my mental method of sight. The power to mentally block others' sight centers was an unexpected bonus. You know, Dr. Shadow, I think I shall rather enjoy killing you."

Dr. Shadow was glad of the villain's boasting. His sight was gone, but his hearing was still good. Sundown's big mouth allowed Dr. Shadow to guide a solid shadow-hammer right toward him, and it struck the villain square in the chest. As the breath left Sundown's body in a gasp, Dr. Shadow's sight suddenly returned.

Rubberneck had wrapped his left arm around the Clown like a boa constrictor. The mirthful hero's arms were pinned to his body; he could not move.

"Now, blank-face, I'm gonna pound you into white hamburger," Rubberneck announced, forming his right fist into an anvil shape and raising it high above his head. The Clown was not looking at him, though -- out of the corners of his eyes he was staring at his own jester's scepter, lying on the street. Rubberneck noticed this, saw the Clown's fingers hopelessly reaching for it.

"Oh, you want your stick, huh?" the ductile villain scoffed. "It must be a pretty bad weapon. Here, let me get it for you." The villain's right hand shot like a cobra and scooped up the scepter. It had a miniature version of the Clown's face for a head. Rubberneck pointed the face at the Clown.

"Let's see, I can feel a button... here!" Rubberneck pressed the control stud of the scepter. A jet of greenish-yellow vapor instantly shot out of the back of the scepter, right into the villain's face. He was instantly overcome by a violent fit of sneezing. So intense were the sneezes that he released the Clown, who did a little dance of joy.

"Good thing I made old L-to-pay use my design idea for my scepter," the Clown laughed to himself. "That backward-firing gag gets 'em every time!"

"Any last words, kitten?" Deadeye asked as he drew the bowstring and aimed the arrow at the trapped Lynx.

"Just three -- eat my hairballs!" Lynx slung her arm forward. Her artificial claws detached from her glove and sailed through the air, neatly slicing through Deadeye's bowstring. The arrow fell to the ground and exploded at the archer's feet, sending him flying backward.

"Yep -- the cute ones are always dumb," Lynx said to herself, bending to remove her boots.

Luthor flew down to examine the fallen Dr. Chaos. He hadn't intended to kill the wizard, but merely stun him.

As he landed at Chaos' side, he saw that the villain still lived. With a gasping breath, Chaos uttered a single word: "Microbe." And with that, he vanished.

The same tableau played out all over the battlefield. The villains, knowing they were defeated, said the name Microbe and were instantly teleported away.

"The diminutive genius called Microbe undoubtedly had his teleportation ray at the ready," said Alexander Luthor. "It explains why he took no part in the battle."

"Hey, look!" the Clown said, pointing at the saloon. The blue force field was still there, but the Crime Syndicate was gone.

"Yes, and now they have doubled their strength," Yellow Lantern said grimly.

"Say, Lantern," Lynx said, walking up to her teammate on bare feet, holding her ruined boots in one hand. "Could we ride home in separate bubbles? It's not safe to go barefoot around the Clown." From somewhere in his bag of tricks, the Clown had produced a white feather and was grinning wolfishly at the Lynx. The heroine shuddered.

"I don't believe it!" Ultraman shouted, storming around the Eyrie of Evil, knocking things over. "More than twice as many members as before, and still they beat us! It's inconceivable!"

"Is he always like this?" Deadeye whispered to Power Ring.

"Lately," Power Ring whispered back.

"Look, U-man," Owlman began, "they just had the edge, that's all. Next time..."

"Yeah," Ultraman said, eyes brightening. "The edge. That's right. And next time, we'll have the edge!"

Superwoman began, "What do you--?"

"I have something to do," Ultraman said curtly as he stormed off to the room where he kept his supply of kryptonite. His teammates heard a door slam. They remained silent for a moment.

Then Johnny Quick broke the silence. "Anyone for Monopoly?"

"Mono-what?" the Martian Murderer asked.